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Being gay in Greensboro, North Carolina, is pretty simple: The LGBT community is small, so people like who they like, explained Robin, a year-old black lesbian who was taken aback when she relocated to Atlanta a few years ago. For starters, Atlanta women were into labels. Further, those labels limited socially acceptable couples to one type — a butch and a femme.

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I was puffing on a cigarette outside of a lesbian club, looking all bleary-eyed and angst-ridden when an older dyke, probably about fifteen years my senior, came sauntering on over to me. I sighed. None of my friends will talk to me because I drunkenly hooked up with one of their exes.

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‘Stud for stud’ and the evolution of black Atlanta lesbian dating

Back then there were quite a few black lesbians on the site. Interestingly enough, most of the faces I saw on those Yahoo profile pics ended up becoming great friends of mine in the black queer community. Much of the 21 to 30 year old crowd then transitioned from Yahoo to Downelink. That site had a HUGE black community. But it quickly devolved into a hookup site as more people started posting pictures and messages that would never meet the community standards of traditional dating sites.

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And yes, I mean you. Some of those obstacles definitely came from outside of you. Homophobic families, friends, religions, discrimination — so many of us have faced all of that and more. If that rings true for you, please know: Our society has so few models for healthy relationships, period — and it certainly has no models for healthy lesbian relationships. Deep inside, do you dream of finding a soulmate, a great girlfriend, or a forever partner or wife? Do you hope for a strong, happy relationship that lasts for the rest of your life? Most lesbians and queer women do.

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There has been some talk in the community, around why some men have a dislike for lesbian studs. For those who don't know, a lesbian stud is a masculine woman who is attracted to women. That definition in itself, troubles some and others struggle to understand it all.

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