Dating from different social class
In "Pretty Woman," a wealthy businessman hires a call girl. Buena Visa Pictures They say opposites attract, but is that true when it comes to your income bracket? Reddit users gathered on a recent thread to talk about what they learned from dating someone whose socioeconomic background is totally different from theirs. Many said they enjoy introducing their partners to certain aspects of their lifestyle, whether that includes swanky dinners or "dirt cheap" fishing, but others admit it can be hard. So what's it like to be a working-class kid dating a one-percenter or vice versa? Here are some of the most illuminating answers from the Reddit thread.
The Economics of Romance: 8 Common Ways Social Class Impacts Dating
In "Pretty Woman," a wealthy businessman hires a call girl. Buena Visa Pictures They say opposites attract, but is that true when it comes to your income bracket? Reddit users gathered on a recent thread to talk about what they learned from dating someone whose socioeconomic background is totally different from theirs. Many said they enjoy introducing their partners to certain aspects of their lifestyle, whether that includes swanky dinners or "dirt cheap" fishing, but others admit it can be hard.
So what's it like to be a working-class kid dating a one-percenter or vice versa? Here are some of the most illuminating answers from the Reddit thread. My mother was murdered when I was a year old. My father and step mother were given custody of me, they are hardcore bikers. I grew up learning learning how to sell drugs, fight, work on bikes, make moonshine, etc. My SO comes from upper middle class, went to private school, family celebrates birthdays, having a fridge half filled of food is "getting low" etc.
We learn from each other. Really, we just teach each other and love each other for our differences. We turned 17 together a week ago. Two days apart. I was ecstatic that I had my first 5 driving lessons paid for me as my present from my parents. We only go out on birthdays and have to be wary of how much we spend. I don't judge her at all and her family are hard working and lovely. It's just hard not to be a little bit jealous sometimes. As a whole, I'd say the fact that her parents are loaded has been a huge positive.
She has no student loan debt, but helps me pay mine, and has since we were engaged. Her mom and dad love me, they have taken me on family vacations for years now. I proposed to her in Belize, visited Italy and England, California this year, Ireland next year, Germany the year after It's pretty cool. In general, the easy access and availability of fallback funds has really been a boon for our relationship, it's allowed her to pursue a job that she loves and still have a family, and it's allowed me to focus on my hobby and side business, rather than pouring all my money into a down payment for a home.
I grew up in an upper middle class family and I once dated a guy that came from a poor Florida family. He had underwear that was full of holes but would still not throw them out, even after I bought him a bunch more. Also, he knew very little about life outside of his home state, was never up on current world affairs, and was ignorant to soooo much basic knowledge.
When I was dating the guy he was no longer "poor", he was doing well for himself. Because of his upbringing he chose to be willfully ignorant and never even try new things, that was my issue. No, I didn't break up with him because he was poor, I broke up with him because he tried to live with me for free despite having TWO jobs. I'm from a poor family. In part because she knows her family has worked hard to get to where they are, and if I mention it, she'll tell me that there was a time before her father was self employed where they struggled.
Makes it hard to accept they truly struggled as much as mine did. Click here to see the rest of the Reddit thread. Molly Mulshine.
In her research, Streib found that people from different classes tend to you need to detach from both your personal and social expectations of. When two people from different social classes start dating, their families will be the first to say they are not meant to be. If you're serious about.
And even though technology has made dating ever more accessible, it seems that some of us think that class still impacts on our love lives. And that, she said, would make actively going out of the way to date people like lawyers or doctors difficult. We ended up having quite a few rows that ultimately went back to our different upbringings. It was probably a main contributor to our eventually breaking up. And that made our differences even starker whenever we met up with them.
Singer Otile Brown and socialite Vera Sidika recently ended their relationship in a rather nasty and public manner. However, it is the singer who ended up being the butt of all manner of jokes, after Vera embarrassed him and his supposed begging tendencies.
It's kind of sad to think that in , social classes still matter. The archaic nature of social class is thankfully no longer the status quo, but we'd be kidding ourselves if we said money had little to no effect on personal relationships every once in a while. They matter in the sense that people in different social classes have undeniably different mentalities on all things money.
Dating Someone Out of Your Social Class
You come from two separate backgrounds Could dating someone outside your 'class' work? You come from two different worlds. With two different bank accounts. Blue collar, white collar--lower class, upper class--whatever you want to call it. But you're smitten with one another and want to make it work.
How Class Can Screw Up Relationships
He is from a wealthy family and you come from the other side of the tracks. Although it was unlikely the two of you would end up dating, sparks flew and the rest is history. The whirlwind romance has been fun, but it hasn't been without roadblocks. Dating outside your social class can be fraught with complications. People from different social classes may have trouble understanding the way other classes operate. The "New York Times" article "When Richer Weds Poorer, Money Isn't the Only Difference" describes a couple in which the lower-class husband did not fit in with people from his wealthy wife's social class -- because he was a straight shooter and she and her friends talked around issues. People from different social classes have different ways of acting -- similar to a culture -- that can take time to understand. If your boyfriend has enough family money to buy designer clothing, drive his own sports car and apply to dozens of colleges, while you are flipping burgers at the local hamburger joint to scrape together enough money to attend the local community college, you may have trouble seeing eye to eye. You also might have issues when it comes to doing things together, since his tastes might outweigh what you can afford. If your girlfriend is wealthy, and you come from a family with less money, you might feel as though there is a power imbalance in the relationship.
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General progressiveness of aside, most of us still date and marry folks from the same socioeconomic background as us: Now doctors marry doctors.
Problems with Dating out of Your Social Class
A new study suggests that one overlooked root of relationship problems is social class. They wanted to see how attitudes about education, work, money, and social capital affected how couples fought. The couples were predominantly white—one person self-identified as Iranian-American, two as Bosnian—and heterosexual, with one gay male couple and one lesbian couple. Their ages ranged from early 20s to mids, and couples had been living together anywhere from a year and a half to 43 years. Defining social class is a bit tricky. All the participants answered a set of 12 questions discussing class and their relationships, with items like: What seemed to me like the saddest finding was that upper-class people, even when they love and are married to someone from a lower-class background, often display stereotypical class prejudices. One participant said:. I was always taught that I could do anything I want, be anything I want, even if I am not making that much money. In an odd way, one cross-class relationship this creates is the one between parents and children.
The Unique Tensions of Couples Who Marry Across Classes
How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game , which essentially argues that today's dating market is suffering from a so-called " man shortage. While there are 5. The book raises some interesting questions about what we look for in a mate, as well as some alternative solutions for the marriage-minded among us. But Birger also suggests that this "man shortage" might result in a surprising trend: At face value, the suggestion that women date outside their class seems hopelessly old-fashioned, not to mention politically incorrect.
The Truth About "Mixed-Collar" Dating — From the People Who Make These Relationships Work
While on the boat, the two managed to fall in love despite their first class-steerage status. What challenges would they have navigated? Would their love have kept their relationship afloat? Or would the differences in their upbringing and bank account sizes have tipped their relationship over? These are some of the questions that sparked this thread on Reddit about couples who grew up in different socioeconomic classes.
The Truth About "Mixed-Collar" Dating — From the People Who Make These Relationships Work
How do we choose our partners? Does their social class influence our choice? Sociologists and psychologists say yes. According to them, a harmonious relationship is possible only between a man and a woman who belong to the same social class. But gradually, as they get to know each other better, they begin to realize they come from different worlds. But usually, cross-class couples face a lot of issues. Different incomes and personal values often lead to controversies that may kill the relationship.
Aladdin weds Princess Jasmine. From fairy tales to adult films, we are exposed to a repeated idea: In fiction, cross-class relationships either end in marriage and happily-ever-after, or else in dissolution and even death. But what happens in real life? Understanding Cross-Class Marriages. Not surprisingly, their relationships had little in common with the romances we see in the movies. Most couples maintained that their class differences were behind them after marriage, as they now shared a bank account, a home, and a life.
Apart from weakened labor protections and the uneven distribution of productivity gains to workers, marital trends can play a role in maintaining inequality as well. Sociologists such as Robert Mare and Kate Choi argue that the tendency for people to marry people like themselves extends to the realms of income, educational level, and occupation—which means richer people marry those with similar levels of wealth and income. Marriages that unite two people from different class backgrounds might seem to be more egalitarian, and a counterweight to forces of inequality. But recent research shows that there are limitations to cross-class marriages as well. In her book The Power of the Past , the sociologist Jessi Streib shows that marriages between someone with a middle-class background and someone with a working-class background can involve differing views on all sorts of important things—child-rearing, money management, career advancement, how to spend leisure time. In fact, couples often overlook class-based differences in beliefs, attitudes, and practices until they begin to cause conflict and tension. When it comes to attitudes about work, Streib draws some particularly interesting conclusions about her research subjects.Dating in China, different social classes = different expectations