Online matchmaking adds a twist to arranged marriages in india
By Martha Cliff for MailOnline. While arranged marriages are certainly less common than they once were, the traditional match-making still exists in certain cultures and religions. The practice has been criticised over the years often from those who have not experienced it but now couples who were the result of arranged marriages have come forward with their stories. Couples who have been in arranged marriages have taken to Reddit to reveal their experiences. The Redditor added a serious tag to the thread to encourage only truthful accounts from those joining the conversation. Many admissions came from those who admitted to originally being opposed to the idea but had learned to love their partner.
Giving a ‘cool’ twist to arranged marriages
Her father found a well-educated man in her caste from a marriage website that features profiles of potential mates and presented his choice to her. And that was when her rebellion began. So her father picked another profile. Her boldness made the match. By the time the fathers discovered that their families were of the same gotra, or subcaste, generally making marriage taboo, their children had texted and emailed enough that they were hooked.
Theirs was one of a growing number of "semi-arranged" marriages in which technology has played matchmaker, helping whittle away at an ancient tradition, but with a particularly Indian twist. In a society where marriage is largely still a compact between families, most parents, especially fathers, are in charge of the search for a mate, including by scouring the now ubiquitous marriage websites for acceptable candidates. Human rights activists have welcomed the evolution as a significant change in the status of women worldwide and are hoping even poor, rural families begin to allow marriages based on choice.
Each year, they note, roughly 8 million mostly teenage brides marry men chosen entirely by their parents, with many meeting their grooms for the first time on their wedding day. Refusals can be met with violence and, sometimes, murder. In one case in November, a year-old New Delhi college student was strangled by her parents for marrying against their wishes.
The shift away from fully arranged marriages is being driven in good part by simple market dynamics among Indians who have long seen marriage as a guarantor of social status and economic security. For centuries, fathers sought matches among their social connections, often with the help of local matchmakers who carried resumes door to door. But village-based kinship networks are fading as more families move to cities, and highly educated women often cannot find men of equal standing in those circles.
Under such strains, families have sought larger networks, increasingly through matchmaking sites. The websites — India now has more than 1, — nationalize the pool of prospective spouses, giving parents thousands more choices while still allowing them to adhere to long-standing restrictions regarding caste and religion. Candidates who fail to identify their caste get far fewer responses, matchmakers and marriage brokers say.
Still, by allowing the Internet to nudge its way into the marriage equation, parents are increasingly surrendering control. On BharatMatrimony. Among women, the share of self-postings is at 56 percent, up from 30 percent five years ago. But even as social mores shift, relatively few young Indians, including those who demand more of a say in their marriages, are straying too far from tradition.
And many of those who choose semi-arranged marriages say that romantic love, the head-spinning Bollywood kind, is not their goal. The percentage of semi-arranged marriages has grown to an estimated quarter of all marriages in India, according to a survey, while just about 5 percent of matches are considered "love marriages," in which couples unite with little parental consent. Indeed, many families involved in both old and new forms of arranged marriages see falling in love before marriage as threatening.
Those with money sometimes hire private investigators to ensure that a prospective spouse does not have any ill intentions or has not fallen in love then broken off that relationship in favor of an approved match. For poor, rural women, the notion of even semi-arranged marriage is still mainly out of reach — a fact that human rights activists say leaves girls especially vulnerable.
Those urbanized Indians shifting to semi-arranged marriages say the change could not have happened nearly as quickly without the growth of matrimonial websites and the proliferation of cellphones, which have given young Indians a way to converse away from the prying ears of their families. In the end, Garima Pant, whose cellphone became a tool of rebellion, mainly got her way.
She insisted on meeting her future husband, Manas Pant, alone before making a decision, a once-rare demand that is now routine in semi-arranged marriages. Manas Pant, 28, a marketing professional for technology companies, had a slightly different take: After a two-hour date, she dropped him off and drove home, where her father, mother and brother were eagerly waiting in the living room.
It was the equivalent of a man in the West going down on bended knee. The families would still have to meet, and horoscopes would have to be consulted. By participating in online discussions you acknowledge that you have agreed to the Terms of Service. An insightful discussion of ideas and viewpoints is encouraged, but comments must be civil and in good taste, with no personal attacks. If your comments are inappropriate, you may be banned from posting. Report comments if you believe they do not follow our guidelines.
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While Indian parents still take the lead in arranging marriages, many are turning to marriages in which technology has played matchmaker, helping whittle away at an ancient tradition, but with a particularly Indian twist. 'Game of Thrones' Fans Are Thrilled, Confused and Setting the Internet on Fire. Online matchmaking adds a twist to arranged marriages in India Indian parents are still largely in charge of arranging marriages, but the.
Her father found a well-educated man in her caste from a marriage website that features profiles of potential mates and presented his choice to her. And that was when her rebellion began. So her father picked another profile.
However, her profiles on matrimonial sites —www. Her parents, who have put up a profile on her behalf, have made it very clear that they want a son-in-law who does not drink.
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Members of an Indian wedding band gather on swings as they wait for a religious procession at a garden in Amritsar on April 12, This week: Shenyang taxi driver amasses amazing collection of 30, selfies with his passengers Shanghaiist. Taxi driver Teng Jiazhi has taken 30, selfies with passengers over the last four years and has gained more than , Weibo followers in the process. Known by fans as Brother Smile, Teng says, "I try my best to help my passengers with their troubles.
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NEW DELHI — For thousands of years, fathers in India have arranged the marriages of their children, and Garima Pant — like an estimated 95 percent of her millennial peers — was intent on following this most Indian of traditions. Her father found a well-educated man in her caste from a marriage website that features profiles of potential mates and presented his choice to her. And that was when her rebellion began. Pant, a year-old special education teacher, after seeing a picture of a man with streaks of color in his hair.
Online matchmaking adds a twist to arranged marriages in India
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Online matchmaking adds a twist to arranged marriages in india
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Trends: Modern Matchmaking
But the truth, she says, is that not just in the West but also back home in India, the desi dating scene is vibrant: Which is not to say that we do not have arranged marriages. In fact, in my own family we have had successful arranged marriages, but surely that is not the only way we marry and perhaps the West needs to know that. The concept of arranged marriages, practiced in many cultures, is a subject of intrigue, even disdain, for many Americans. In a society, bolstered by beliefs in individual freedom and free choice, most Americans are dismissive of the idea of somebody else suggesting a life partner for them. But increasingly in contemporary America, as large numbers of immigrants leave their imprints on all walks of life, from social to political, mainstream media is beginning to reflect aspects of immigrant social and love lives. It may be about time that Americans came to realize that South Asians too meet, date and mate much as their Western counterparts.
Online Matchmaking Adds a Twist to Arranged Marriages in India
Human rights activists are hoping for more marriages based on choice. The shift away from tradition is being driven in part by simple market dynamics. Matchmaking websites nationalize the pool of prospective spouses. Garima insisted on meeting Manas alone before making a decision. And that was when her rebellion began. Pant, a year-old special education teacher, after seeing a picture of a man with streaks of color in his hair. So her father picked another profile.
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