Dating a man whos been hurt

Dating a man whos been hurt

Girls who've been treated badly in relationships love very differently. They're both scared that what happened before might happen again and end up hurting them more than ever. But they also feel little stronger because they've been through a lot already. They're conflicted about a lot of things:

Ten Telltale Signs That the Damaged Man is in Love With You

When a girl has been hurt in the past, she tends to become very independent. This is the case with me. I was raised by a single mother, and the lessons she has taught me both knowingly and unknowing have stuck with me most of my life. One thing in particular that she has taught me was to never rely on a man, or anyone else for that matter. This led to me becoming very independent, and therefore depending on myself only and not taking demands or relying on anyone, especially a man.

This lesson was reiterated when my father walked out of my life, and when my first boyfriend left me. I am so used to everyone walking out, and only being able to rely on myself, so when a guy walks into my life I expect him to leave. Furthermore, if you are a man lucky enough to be dating one of these independent girls who are so used to getting their hearts broken, here are a few things you must know. This is different for every individual, but just know that our walls are built up for reasons you may or may not know, and that they are there to protect us.

Being an independent girl tends to mean that we put ourselves first, and that protecting ourselves is one of our main priorities. Moving slow could me manifested in many ways: There are exceptions to this rule but usually surprises are not our thing. Everyone says that falling in love is the scariest thing you can do, and for us this is so true. Trusting people is hard for us because we have learned to only trust ourselves.

Love is contingent on the fact that you trust someone else, and this very concept is hard for us to grasp. The beginning of a relationship with an independent girl can be hard, especially when dealing with an independent guy. However, if you can get through the beginning of the relationship, and push past all the crap we will put you through, I promise you will have a girl who will cherish you. We can't help what has happened in our past, and we can't help the way what we have been through has done to us.

If you decide to love us through it, we promise to love and appreciate you no matter what. If you can't love us through it, then be honest with us, the worst thing you can do is put us through exactly what we've been through in the past. To love an independent girl means being patient, being understanding, being a good listener, and most of all being loving, and being loved back. About nine months ago, you left me in front of my dorm, tears in both of our eyes, all by myself.

As my first year away from you comes to a close, I'm getting ready to return to the nest. And I can guess you're either feeling really excited to have your baby back, or you are wishing the semester would last a little longer. But whether you're ready or not, I'm coming home. It's been quieter around the house. You haven't had to drive to games, activities, appointments, and events for me. One less person to clean for, one less person to cook for, and one less person to feel responsible for.

It's OK to admit that you've enjoyed it. I loved my first year away from home. I tasted freedom like I never have before, and I would like to think I was safe and smart about it. I figured out how to take care of myself in every way, shape, and form -- I manage my own time, I feed myself, and I get myself from point A to point B. In just a few short months, I've learned so much about myself and the world outside of our little town.

It has been an amazing experience. I'm kind of an adult now, and as I adjust to life back home, I'm asking you to be patient with me. I have spent so much time getting used to a new lifestyle where I can make up my own rules and decide when I want to follow them, it may take me a while to remember how things used to be when I was here all the time. Please remember that I just busted my butt academically in the two hardest semesters of my life and I'm exhausted.

I don't want to think about classes or my grades or anything related to my major — I just want to enjoy my summer. Don't get angry with me if I forget to put my dish in the dishwasher or don't do my laundry for two weeks — when I was living on my own, I could do whatever I wanted. I know I have to live by your rules when I'm home, but give me some time to adjust. I promise I'm not a slob when I'm at school — I'm just a college student.

I've been away from home for so long and there is so much I missed when I was gone. So please, let me pick that local restaurant I love for dinner and allow me to hang out with friends every night if I want to. I've missed the things I left behind and I'm only home for four short months, so I have to enjoy it while I'm here. I promise to spend time with you before I go back to school. But mostly, I want to say thank you. Thank you for supporting me and loving me through all the tough times this year brought.

All the phone calls, worried texts about my taxes, FaceTime sessions with the dog, and surprise weekend visits helped me survive my first year away from home. No matter where I go and how long I'm gone, I'll always be your baby and I will always appreciate everything you've done for me. No more exams, presentations, meetings, or lectures. For the first time in a long time, I'm all yours.

And even though I'm coming home now, soon I will be leaving again — so let me enjoy my time home with you. We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you. Thank you. Thank you for choosing me and loving me, every day. I never asked you to love me the way that you do, but I am realizing how truly grateful I am for you. Thank you for showing me what it means to be happy.

Thank you for listening to every rant, story, and joke that I tell you. Thank you for being the person I run to after a long, difficult day and making me smile. Thank you for the endless love that you radiate. Thank you for wiping away my tears and picking up the pieces when I am lost. Thank you for always making sure I feel loved. I don't know how it all happened, but I am lucky it did. The first conversation we had will always hold a special place in my heart.

I remember we spent hours on Facetime, falling asleep laughing at each other's jokes. I was genuinely happy for that moment we shared. Since that day our love has grown to what it is today. What we have may not work for everyone, but it works for us. I love how open we are when talking about anything. I love that you listen to me ramble on and on about a simple thing. I love that we can be ourselves around each other.

No matter the time, place, or day we both know the other is always willing to listen and understand. Thank you for always being patient with me, especially when I get into one of those moods. Thank you for being so good to me, especially when it gets hard. I know I am not the easiest to deal with, but I appreciate you. Sometimes I feel like I do not deserve someone like you, Out of nowhere, you appeared with arms open, ready to love me. I appreciate you more than I may lead on. I care about you and I thank you for being a part of my life.

I am working hard on myself and I love that you support me in all I want to do. Thank you for holding me when I cry, even when it is over something completely stupid. I wanted you to know that I would do all that I can to be there for you, when you may not be doing well yourself. Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how hard our lives get. Thank you for never going to sleep mad or upset and always saying "I love you" before we head out on our day.

Thank you for the countless hours at attempting to teach me how to play video games, even though I will never fully grasp how to use the controller. I just know I am pretty good at Madden, just saying. Thank you for letting me call you when I cannot sleep or when I just needed to hear your voice. Thank you for loving me no matter what, no matter when. I hope you know that you have my heart, no matter what life may throw at us. I hope you know that I think you are one of the best people that I have had the chance to know.

You are so much greater than you think you are, my love. I know this may feel repetitive, but thank you for being everything I could ever want and for showing me what it means to be in love with your best friend. Home Communities Create Shop. Cover Image Credit: At Mary Baldwin College. Welcome new, meaningful ideas to your inbox. Sign up for our weekly newsletter.

Thank you for signing up! Check your inbox for the latest from Odyssey.

Well, there are girls who date men like that. They love them with all their Emotionally damaged men have been hurt. They have been through. When one has been hurt in the past, trusting a new person can feel nearly impossible. The thought of letting someone in who could potentially.

However, getting hurt one too many times can destroy your desire for a relationship. In fact, it can be a real downer. We worry about getting cheating on. We have a hard time opening up. The closer you are to our friends and family, the harder the breakup would be.

The internet is replete with articles purporting to offer sage advice as to whether that chap you've been eyeing is "into you".

Those in the latter group have often experienced hurt — in some form — at the hands of someone who promised the world only to deliver nothing of the sort. The ability to trust someone else and confidence in their own self-trust. If your computer was hacked, what would you do?

7 Things You Need To Understand About Dating Someone Who's Broken

Christian Grey. Bruce Wayne. Daegus MacKeltar. All three characters are quite different in many ways but there is one similar characteristic. All three men are emotionally damaged.

5 Things Girls Who Have Been Hurt Need You To Know

When a girl has been hurt in the past, she tends to become very independent. This is the case with me. I was raised by a single mother, and the lessons she has taught me both knowingly and unknowing have stuck with me most of my life. One thing in particular that she has taught me was to never rely on a man, or anyone else for that matter. This led to me becoming very independent, and therefore depending on myself only and not taking demands or relying on anyone, especially a man. This lesson was reiterated when my father walked out of my life, and when my first boyfriend left me. I am so used to everyone walking out, and only being able to rely on myself, so when a guy walks into my life I expect him to leave. Furthermore, if you are a man lucky enough to be dating one of these independent girls who are so used to getting their hearts broken, here are a few things you must know. This is different for every individual, but just know that our walls are built up for reasons you may or may not know, and that they are there to protect us. Being an independent girl tends to mean that we put ourselves first, and that protecting ourselves is one of our main priorities.

What does it mean to be an emotionally damaged man?

Classifying people who have "been hurt" regarding anything to do with dating or love or other people is asinine. We've all been there — most of us are still there to some degree, and to pretend that anybody isn't or that there are some people more affected than others is counterproductive altogether. But the reality is that while we've all been scorched by the romantic blowtorch , we seldom realize, or accept, that other people's hearts are as damaged and salvageable as we want to hope that ours are.

This Is How You Love Someone Who Has Been In A Toxic Relationship

Feminine socialization emphasizes personal communication, and, consequently, the oft-termed "fairer sex" is generally perceived as being more emotional. However, that does not mean that men are incapable of being emotionally hurt. Because masculine communication tendencies are different, communicating with an emotionally hurt man requires different tactics than communicating with an emotionally hurt woman. These tactics, rarely covered in mainstream conversation as a result of stereotypical perceptions of masculine strength, can help break through the barriers built in the wake of emotional pain. Give the man some space. Men in pain often need time alone to process their pain. Attempting to broach a painful subject before the man is ready may cause him to retreat even further into his shell, making communicative progress difficult to achieve. Lead into the conversation with a pleasant, light topic. If you can make the man smile or laugh, you will have put him at ease. This makes it easier for him to discuss his pain with you. When tense or immersed in his pain, his guard will be up.

17 Things To Expect When You Start Dating Someone Who Has Been Single For A While

We are the sum of all our experiences; pain included. Or maybe, I should say, pain most importantly. Because pain ends up leaving behind the deepest scars. Choosing to love is a vulnerable action. Often times, this can break a person; causing the person to find it hard to trust, be vulnerable, or simply love again. But with time, most people return to the path of giving it another shot. Someone that will take their heart gently and choose to care for it rather than take it for granted.

5 Amazing Tips On How To Date An Emotionally Damaged Man

Being single awards us certain privileges like not having to consider a partner in decision making and taking up literally all the space on the bed at night. When someone has been single for an extended period of time, it changes the way they act on a regular basis. If you've just started a relationship with someone who has been single for awhile there a several things you'll want to keep in mind. There are 17 things you should consider when you start dating someone who has been alone for a while. If you think we missed anything or have any suggestions, feel free to post them in the comments below. Otherwise we hope you enjoy this article!

A Guide to Loving Someone Who’s Been Hurt

He's had a string of terrible relationships that will inform how he acts with you. Duh, but there's more. It's very likely that he's been burned before and it was traumatic enough that he's wary of being hurt again. If that history has been established, keep it in mind moving forward. If he's acting irrationally, it certainly isn't your fault, but take into consideration that within reason it isn't entirely his fault either.

How To Get Love From Someone Who’s Guarded

Anyone who has been in a toxic relationship knows the after effect is what people struggle with the most. You are going to notice how nervous they are. You are going to notice how they pull away when you get too close. Take things slow. Because they will fold so fast under pressure in an attempt to appease you.

You can tell those who've been through the relationship journey before. To them, you're the same old song. The more polite you are the more evil your intentions seem. Not to mention that social media has made every attempt at a connection all about the attraction and less about the substance. Although the ironic thing with hurt people is that all they want is to hear something different but they don't take the time to hear you out. But we can all admit that this "heartless" attitude of the masses has come from the graveyard of shallow past relationships, but those who have been genuinely hurt before might be the only ones who you are truly worth the effort after all.

7 Things That Hurt Men The Most In a Relationship
Related publications